Dream and Birth

Original:  25 August 2012

Last Revision:  07 November 2014

 

I have memory.  I have awareness.  But I have no shape or form, at least none I can discern.  I don't see, smell, taste, hear or touch.  But I know things.  They come to me, fill my mind, but gradually enough that I assimilate them, slowly expand my awareness as I float in the void.

A presence.  It, too, has no shape or form -- or I am unable to discern it as surely as I cannot discern myself.  But it wraps me in the protective embrace of its essence and I feel ... loved.  It speaks to me, not in coarse words, but in pure thought.

And I learn.  I see things -- not with eyes, but with the eye of my mind.  As my awareness expands, the Presence feeds me more.

A revelation comes.  One of so many over my time in the nothing that is really everything.  "I am dreaming!" I say -- with my mind, of course, not with crude speech.

You are, My Blossom.  I am the Dream.

"Yes."  When She speaks, it is Truth that my intuition immediately confirms.  "Mother?"

A feeling washes over me -- it happens often in the Dream.  It comes from Her.  It feels like ... loving amusement.

No, Mother not.  Patience.  Learn!

And I do.  More and more as time goes on.  Time?  There is no concept of 'time' in the Dream, but I express it that way.  I have visions.  I see mountains that scratch the sky, watery depths that go down to perfect darkness, hills and valleys, forests full of ... trees.  Tree.  Plant.  Something important about that.

I suddenly feel ... physical.  A piece of me.  In the next moment, it's gone and I am once again awareness without form.

"Am I a plant?"

She smiles, something I don't see, but feel.

Patience.  Learn!

More visions.  Plants smaller than trees, immobile, roots deep in the ground, yet alive and vibrant.  And animals -- furry, scaly, crawling, running, jumping.  Sometimes I try to follow them, push my perception to where I want it to go, but I fail.

I feel Her amused yet loving embrace again.

Follow.  Watch.  And learn!

I stop trying to control it.  I simply go with it, wherever She wants to take me, to show me.  And with that, the images and visions come faster and faster, but never beyond the capacity of my ever-expanding mind to process.

I see war, strife, destruction, death.  I see a Dragon.

I gasp.  I can do that?  Pressure in my chest.  I don't have a chest!  Feeling of suffocation.  Panic.  Impossible!

Rest easy, Blossom.  Not yet time.

The feeling -- it was physical?  How? -- subsides.  I am formless again, unfettered spirit in the Dream. But ... something else?  Not yet time for ... what?

"What am I?"

Comforting, smiling, loving and patient.

I am the Dream, Blossom.  And you are of the Dream.  Here and now.  One.  But separation soon.  Your task.

"Separate?  Task?  But--"

More visions.  Beings now, upright-walking, fair-skinned bipeds with shining metal on their bodies and blades in their hands.  Others like them, but taller.  Felines in a city of fire and soot.  Little ones with big, walking toys.  And ... plants that walk?

"Me? Is that what I am?"

Soon.  Not yet.  Watch.  Learn!

More visions, accelerating, one after another, after another.  Mind fills, expands, fills again.  Dragons.  Ancient evil.  Danger to us all.  Must resist, fight.

"But I am no fighter."

Visions of combat.  I hold a piece of oak in one hand, pull a tense string with the other.  A shaft of wood -- pointed head, feathered tail -- moves impossibly fast toward my target.  A four-legged plant runs after the arrow, wrestles with some creature.  Kills it.  The quadruped returns to me, looks up at me with adoring eyes...

Physical feelings more often now.  I have form, a body, limbs that push against something that holds me in protectively and I feel ... impatient with it somehow.  And then another revelation...

"Mother?"

I am here, My Sapling.  Not the Dream, this voice.  Of the Dream, like me.  But something, somewhere else as well.  Somewhere I shall soon be.  Feeling of suffocation again, but it passes.  Aware of my body more and more.

Soon, My Child.

"But you are...?"

Of the Dream and outside the Dream.  Not the Dream.  I serve Her as do you.

Vision of an impossibly large tree, boughs soaring outward and upward, leafy canopy shading a thriving city where many plants walk upright.

"I am they."

She smiles.  You are the Flower of my heart.  Your time approaches.  What have you learned?

"Ancient enemies.  Dragons."

Yes, Dear Fern.  They sow chaos and destruction.  Danger to us all.  Her gentle and comforting smile.  You will face.  You are almost ready.

Fear.  I shake my head.  I have a head?  I do!  I blink.  "The Dream?"  My connection to it fades as my connection to the body increases.

Always with you, forms you, guides you.  Not like pod time.  But always there, under your mind, in your spirit.

"But I want to learn more!"

Loving smile.  You will.  It is tied to your purpose.  You know this now.

Calm realization. "I do.  But ... I cannot do this alone."

No need, Dear Sprout.  What has the Dream shown you?

The vision returns.  Bipeds.  I have names for them now ... Asura, Norn, Human, Charr and ... Sylvari.  But I also have names for individuals among them.  I try to form them, move my mouth, tongue and lips to say them aloud, but I cannot quite...

She smiles again.  That will come when you need it.  You will know them.

A rustling of countless branches and leaves.  My physical world trembles and I feel vertigo.  Feeling of suffocation again, of restraint.

"Mother!  What...?"

Gentle, loving embrace, but also a ... push.  Purposeful and irresistible.

Your time is now, My Sapling.  You were of the Dream.  I am the vein through which you flow into this ring of existence.  We are all one, all connected, all from the same source.  Remember.  And speak to me, when you have need.  For I loved you before you were born and I love you now forever.

"But...!"  Shock.  Because I hear the word with ears, falling from my lips.  Unbearable suffocation now.  Must get out, break free.  Entire body struggles against the membrane, seeks escape, pushes outwards with hands, feet, head, desperately searches for weak spot...

My hand breaks through.  Real air on the other side, cool in the dawning time of a new day.  I pull at the hole, rip it wide with both hands, tumble out, body meets the ground. I take my first shocked breath, chest expands violently.

And my name is.... Liverius.