One Day in the Borderlands...

11 April 2013

 

The Ranger stands at the precipice and contemplates the scene: a remote view of Faithleap Camp in Piken Borderlands. He and his Faithful Fern Hound stand in Sunnyhill Tower, at the extreme west edge, behind the supply pile, where the ground opens up suddenly to a loooooong drop. The Ranger is unconcerned. He's made this drop countless times and survived it every time thanks to "muddy terrain", one of his SRTs (Stupid Ranger Tricks). "Well, Ruff? What you think?" he asks the plant hound. "Shall we check out that camp? See if it's under attack by something more than skritt?"

As he says it, he feels distracted. A buzzing from somewhere overhead and an unpleasant tingling all over his body. And suddenly, he's pushed off the ledge and falls dooooowwwwwnnn and >splat!< he hits the ground far below. His SRT activates and saves him, as usual, so he now stands up, covered in mud from head to toe, barely alive -- but alive.

He's puzzled for a split second -- and then, as if lightning strikes his brain, he figures what happened: enemies were above him, on the high ground next to the tower wall and they were doing what seemed to be SETs (Stupid Elemental Tricks) to him in an attempt to kill him. The Ranger was so busy with his thoughts and talking to his dog that it failed to register on his mind that he was under attack. And then, his enemies apparently got impatient and just decided to push him off the cliff, to what they assumed would be his certain death from a big fall.

The Ranger grins. They didn't count on an SRT to keep the Ranger alive. But then something interrupts his thought train -- two loud >ploomf!< sounds, right next to him. Which reveal themselves in the form of two Riverside corpses. He blinks. Then he gets it -- his enemies saw that he was still alive after the fall, but just barely and so they decided to drop down and finish him. Sadly for them, they didn't have the same Stupid Trick he did -- thus their fall was fatal.

The Ranger blinks again. Then he laughs. Then he rolls on the ground while laughing. He laughs until tears come and his sides hurt. He notes that the corpses remain a while, as if their owners are too dumbfounded to properly process the thought that they are now dead. Perhaps they think it's a dream and all they have to do is wait for the dream to end to discover they didn't really die so stupidly after all.

"Come on, Ruff!" he finally says, wiping the mirthful tears from his eyes. "Let's check out that camp now." With a final wave to the dead Riversiders, he and his dog move in the camp's direction.