Snipe to Win

Added here:  31 May 2014

Original post on Deso Forum



Early Monday morning, 26 May 2014, Deso Borderland

"Dammit, I know they're blobbing you, Commander! Now for the sake of The Six, would you listen to me for a sec?"

The Head Badger takes the mic away from his mouth and mutes it for a moment. "Jeezus!" he exclaims to the five Badgers standing nearby, awaiting his orders. "Trying the same damn shit and having the same damn result. Gah!"

His guildmates are catching only the Head Badger's side of the conversation -- their comms are tuned to the Badger channel and not to Desospeak. They can hear the static crackle when the Deso Commander speaks, but they can't make out his words. Except for the Ranger, who is also on the Deso channel; usually he is the one talking to the other side, but today, the Head Badger is directly involved.

The Boss brings the mic back to his lips and keys it. "Are you listening? Good. You have what? How many?"

(crackle of static)

"20? Good. If they blob you, split into two groups of 10. Hit two targets -- simultaneously!"

(static and crackle)

"So fucking what?! One of those will win and--"


"I don't give a rat's arse! Then go four groups of five and hit four targets at the same time! They're just a dumb-ass monoblob -- you hit four keeps simultaneously and you'll take three of them! They can't multitask. Do you get it?"

(staticy crackly)

The Head Badger sighs mightily, paces back and forth as he speaks into the mic. "Look. Just try it. What have you got to lose? ... Yeah ... OK ... fine. I'm taking my group to Seafarers .... Yeah ... OK, good luck."

He snaps the comms channel shut and let's loose a mighty "Gah!"

The Ranger clears his throat. "He's only doing what he thinks is right. He's a good man, Boss."

The Head Badger sighs. "I know."

He pauses a moment, thinks. "Right. Waypoint Seafarers."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Seafarers Rest Borderland, three minutes and 40 seconds later...

The six Badgers fall upon Bluevale Refuge (SW Camp) like a freight train and, before you can say "Baaz likes sheep and women who wear wool", it's capped.

The Head Badger wastes no time. While his underlings clean up the battlefield, claim the camp and resupply, he's on the horn to the Deso Commander on this field.

"What you up to, Commander?"

"Taking my zerg to Hills."


The Boss snaps the comms channel shut and whistles sharply. His five minions fall in.

He points at the Ranger and a guildmate. "You and you! With me!"

He points to the three others. "You three, split off, form a second party."

That done, he continues. "My group to Bay, clear the guards, two catas on the wall. Group 2, Southwest Tower! Two cats on cat spot."

He sweeps his gaze around. "Do not fire! Not until all cats are up and I say so. Move!"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Builds complete!" reports Group 2.

The Head Badger notes the two superior cats ready against Bay's wall.


The peaceful morning flees the onset of thunder.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Group 2: "Tower taken. Coming to you."

Head Badger: "Roger."

The cats lob rocks through the gap in Bay's outer wall that crash against the inner.

Two Seafarers respond to the attack. The Ranger joins the three Badgers coming east from the capped tower. 20 seconds later, the two Seafarers are gone, two lootbags in their place.

"Heh!" chuckles the Ranger. "They only sent two."

The Head Badger grins. "They're all at Hills."

The Bay inner wall crumbles.

"Let's go."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The BL channel crackles with the voice of the local commander, frustration evident in his tone. "We failed at Hills. Seafarers still holds it."

"No, you did fine," replies the Head Badger.

"What? How you figure?"

"You kept them engaged at Hills, while we took the SW Tower and Bay -- with only six people."

Silence. Then the Commander's response: "Wow."

"You did fine, Commander," replies the Head Badger. "You did real fine!"

"Uh ... glad to help."

The Head Badger grins. "Snipe to fucking win, baby!"

He closes comms and jumps to his feet. "Right, Maggots! Enough rest. Northward, ho!"