Battle of Cliffside
31 May 2014
Original post on Deso Forum
Friday, early morning, 30 May 2014
"ˇDios mio!" swears the Baruch Garrison Scout. "ˇObtuvieron Cliffside!" (My god!
They got Cliffside! (BB's NE Tower)).
El Baruch Comandante presses his lips together in frustration. Then snaps out of
it. "Alright -- we're taking it back. Hahah! The tower is paper and has no
supplies. On me! Throw these Deso bastards out of our Borderland!"
The attack with rams on the gate fails in the face of arrow cart, ballista and
"Under the bridge! orders El Comandante. "Catapults! Melt that side wall!"
Five minutes later, three catapults lie broken, victims of arrow cart fire,
direct fire from the wall defenders and the Deso melee team on the ground.
El Comandante refuses to give up. "No es un problema -- ˇTreb ... abre fuego!"
(Not a problem -- Treb ... open fire!")
The trebuchet, positioned on top of the Garrison's northeast supply shack,
begins lobbing fiery rocks that strike the south wall of Cliffside Tower. Baruch
soldiers cheer and dance, knowing that the Deso defenders in the tower have no
way to counter such an attack -- except by taking Garrison itself -- and they
haven't got the numbers for it. Baruch already considers Cliffside theirs again,
so certain is Deso's defeat, now that Baruch is trebbing.
The treb punches a hole in the wall sooner than expected. El Comandante frowns.
Strange, he thinks. They didn't even try to repair it, even though they have
Astralholme (NE Camp) ... no matter ... onward!
"Into the breach, Amigos! Throw them out of our tower!"
A few minutes later, all "amigos" are either dead or thrown out of "their"
El Comandante can't believe it. He stares at the tower, bug-eyed, unable to
process the simple fact that Deso still holds it. A tower that Baruch
breached with a treb, fair and square! Obviously, he thinks, there is some
Again, the Deso defenders make no move to repair the tower wall. So again, El
Comandante orders his force into the breach. And again, they die or retreat in
the face of Deso's defense.
"ˇNo es posible!" is the cry that comes from more than one Baruch attacker.
So they attack again. And are butchered again.
"Alright!" yells El Comandante. "Enough of this crap! Everyone to me! Now tell
me -- what the fuck is going on?!"
Many agitated voices try to talk to him at once, so it takes some time to sift
through it all, but in the end, El Comandante pulls the following intelligence
out of the babbling of his soldiers:
- There are two guild groups in the
tower, wearing tags of [BS] and [CS].
- Their numbers are about 15.
(Initially, his soldiers swore it was "30 or 50" -- it took El Comandante a
bit of cross-examination to get them down to "15").
- They have a cat, two ballistas and
maybe five ACs ... hard to say exactly, because they keep building new ones
to replace the broken ones.
- There's no supply in the tower. But
they keep portaling in/out of the tower to/from Astralholme camp, so they
must have supply -- and yet they're putting none of into repairing
the wall. Why the hell aren't they repairing the wall?!
"Alright, enough!" he says. "Change
of plan. Main group distracts them at the tower. Snipe group gets Astralholme!"
It takes three tries before the Baruch Snipe Team succeeds.
El Comandante builds a treb on the camp's heights. "Now, take out their siege!
It goes well for Baruch ... until some Deso defenders arrive, destroy the treb
and recapture the camp.
El Comandante orders another breach attack. He knows the moment is ripe -- the
defenders have less siege now. This time, his attackers make it to the tower's
supply hut -- before the defenders cut them down in hand-to-hand combat.
He regroups and charges again -- three more times. On the third try, his
attackers get all the way to the hill outside the Lord's Room ... and die there.
"Comandante!" goes the frantic call from a Baruch scout in the north. "Deso has
taken Godsword!" (North Camp).
El Comandante goes red with rage and fumes to himself. So that is how they keep
up supply! It's just not fair! It's not right! We did everything we were
supposed to do. As soon as we started trebbing, they should have seen how
hopeless it was and left the tower. And then we breached and they still
don't leave. And we run our zerg in again and again and they do ... not ...
leave ...! It's intolerable!
He's about to order another assault when the Garrison scout reports. "Treb fire
incoming!" And not one, but two fiery rocks crash against Garri's eastern
The air erupts with exclamations from shocked Baruchies. "ˇEstamos jodidos!"
"Dammit it all to...! Shit! Back to Garri, everyone! Repair that wall"!
And that is what Baruch does for the rest of the battle, except for a few
half-hearted charges from smaller groups of their fighters who still can't
believe it's possible that so few enemy can hold a tower so long with a gaping
hole in the wall and then -- most insulting of all -- conduct an offensive
action against Garrison!
And with the entire Baruch Blob focused in this one spot, Deso commanders
elsewhere have free rein to do as they please -- like capturing Baruch's keep on
And now, with EB done, that Deso zerg, led by its two night commanders, arrives
on the field. A short time later, they run the Deso flag up Baruch Garrison's
And at Baruch's Cliffside Tower, the Head Badger and the Senior Candy Shopper
turn to each other and smile. Baruch blood covers them both until it literally
drips off them. Their weapons are stuck to their hands by blood and gore. They
reek of blood and sweat and death.
And they feel wonderful.
To understand how BS & CS managed this feat,
have another look at the
Battle Manual for the Defense of Northeast Tower.