FF14 Tankers Anonymous

Today, I'll present some random stuff from THE FILE.

Yes, I have one. It has five fields: name, server, date, location and comments. Because I don't have a photographic memory and I don't wish to forget an asshole. If you forget an asshole, they'll asshole you again. And then it will be your fault. But I also record good people.

Here are a few samples...

20.03.2018. Amdapor Keep. Akame Eisuke @ Phoenix is your typical know-it-all. Naturally, she's a DPSer. Doing the dungeon duty with her subjects us to a non-stop monologue about every trivial occurrence as we move from one fight to the next. This wouldn't be so bad, except that this "monologue" is 100% negative, a running critique of everything anyone is doing "wrong."

Finally, I ask a question: "You have an opinion on everything, don't you?" I don't recall her answer exactly, but in it, she affirmed her belief that I don't know what I'm doing and I'm something of a fool. I decided that I couldn't handle any more fun without bursting from an overdose of joy, so I left.

17.12.2017. Aetheryte Plaza, Limsa Lominsa. On our server, the AP-LL is the central hub of activity -- dancers, emoters, emojiers (is that a word? If not, I just invented it), gold-spammers and, if I may briefly channel Obi-Wan Kenobi in SW4: "You won't find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy." My personal favorite: two Mi'qote girls, not wearing much, standing close together, gazing in each others' eyes -- and you just know they're both real life males.

(An aside: stay tuned to this space and, in the near future, I'll have a post where I'll tell you the truth about that peculier phenomenon. It's not what you always thought. Warning: if you're one of them, it will probably make you uncomfortable -- the truth often is).

But I go to AP-LL. A lot. In fact, it's my registered FREE destination. Why? I could point out the practical consideration: I'm a Blacksmith and Armorer. I could also mention the proximity of vendor-repair-melder-summonbell-marketboard, which is better than most other places. But the real reason is that, hidden in all that rough, you sometimes stumble across a diamond.

Her name is Ani Kato. She's a bard. I've never met her before. But for no apparent reason, as soon as I zone in, she runs up to me, whips out her lute and does a fine redition of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star". I /clap. She /bows. I give her 10 gil. She /cheers and runs off.

Damn. I forgot to ask her plot number.

12.12.2017. Lost City of Amdapor. Her name is Jacuzii Windwaker. You just know that, with a name like that, it's gonna' be really great or really NOT-great. Sadly, it's the latter. She runs ahead (DPSer of course), pulls stuff even though we're already fighting and then tells everyone I'm AFK. But if I were AFK, who was tanking? And how did my jaw manage to hit the floor? The situation only gets dumber from there, so I'm soon gone.

28.01.2018. Darvanian Forelands. I'm soloing a Fate, but it's a little more than I can handle and I'm going to either (1) die valiantly or (2) run away like a pussy. Of course, neither option is "good". A stranger named Lu'Bu' (I'm not making that up) spares me the moral dilemma by chancing by, healing me and then quickly flying off to her next objective.

Damn. I forgot to ask her plot number.

A Look at ... The File