A Look at ... The File
Today, I'll present some random stuff from THE FILE.
Yes, I have one.
It has five fields: name, server, date, location and comments. Because I
don't have a photographic memory and I don't wish to forget an asshole. If
you forget an asshole, they'll asshole you again. And then it will be your
fault. But I also record good people.
Here are a few samples...
20.03.2018. Amdapor Keep. Akame Eisuke @ Phoenix is your typical
know-it-all. Naturally, she's a DPSer. Doing the dungeon duty with her
subjects us to a non-stop monologue about every trivial occurrence as we
move from one fight to the next. This wouldn't be so bad, except that this
"monologue" is 100% negative, a running critique of everything anyone is
Finally, I ask a question: "You have an opinion on
everything, don't you?" I don't recall her answer exactly, but in it, she
affirmed her belief that I don't know what I'm doing and I'm something of a
fool. I decided that I couldn't handle any more fun without bursting from an
overdose of joy, so I left.
17.12.2017. Aetheryte Plaza, Limsa
Lominsa. On our server, the AP-LL is the central hub of activity -- dancers,
emoters, emojiers (is that a word? If not, I just invented it),
gold-spammers and, if I may briefly channel Obi-Wan Kenobi in SW4: "You
won't find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy." My personal favorite:
two Mi'qote girls, not wearing much, standing close together, gazing in each
others' eyes -- and you just know they're both real life males.
(An aside: stay tuned to this space and, in the near future, I'll have a
post where I'll tell you the truth about that peculier phenomenon. It's not
what you always thought. Warning: if you're one of them, it will probably
make you uncomfortable -- the truth often is).
But I go to AP-LL.
A lot. In fact, it's my registered FREE destination. Why? I could point out
the practical consideration: I'm a Blacksmith and Armorer. I could also
mention the proximity of vendor-repair-melder-summonbell-marketboard, which
is better than most other places. But the real reason is that, hidden in all
that rough, you sometimes stumble across a diamond.
Her name is Ani
Kato. She's a bard. I've never met her before. But for no apparent reason,
as soon as I zone in, she runs up to me, whips out her lute and does a fine
redition of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star". I /clap. She /bows. I give her
10 gil. She /cheers and runs off.
Damn. I forgot to ask her plot
12.12.2017. Lost City of Amdapor. Her name is Jacuzii
Windwaker. You just know that, with a name like that, it's gonna' be really
great or really NOT-great. Sadly, it's the latter. She runs ahead (DPSer of
course), pulls stuff even though we're already fighting and then tells
everyone I'm AFK. But if I were AFK, who was tanking? And how did my jaw
manage to hit the floor? The situation only gets dumber from there, so I'm
28.01.2018. Darvanian Forelands. I'm soloing a Fate,
but it's a little more than I can handle and I'm going to either (1) die
valiantly or (2) run away like a pussy. Of course, neither option is "good".
A stranger named Lu'Bu' (I'm not making that up) spares me the moral dilemma
by chancing by, healing me and then quickly flying off to her next
Damn. I forgot to ask her plot number.