Mister Mish


11 January 2007

Updated:  06 May 2009


You're aVILE one -- Mister MISH!

Put the above line to the tune of the "Grinch" song and you'll feel the appropriate level of ... atmosphere.

In this issue, The Druid's Journal looks back over the last several months to bring to you a horrifying and shocking selection of psychological abuse a certain Innocent Druid has been compelled to endure at the hands of the Vile Mister Mish.




Vile Mister Mish:  "I want to see the 'Dancing Bear' and I want to see him now!"

Innocent Druid:  "No, please, Mister Mish, it's so degrading!"

Mish:  "I said now!"

Partial list of locations where the Innocent Druid was forced to publicly engage in this sordid activity for the cheap amusement of the Vile Mister Mish:




Tirisfal Glades, along the road to the Scarlet Monastery.

Innocent and Well-Meaning Druid:  "Hey, Mish!  Nice new helmet you got there!"

Vile Mister Mish:  "Yeh".

Druid:  "It's a good look for you!"

Mish:  "Mm hm."

Druid:  "And such lovely horns coming out each side of it!"

Mish:  "Hm".

Druid:  "Really, those are neat!  Hey, do they swivel?  Can I swivel your horns, Mish, can I?"

Mish:  "How about I swivel ya damned donkey-ears, eh lad?"




Pig & Whistle Tavern, Stormwind City.  Members of the Cohort are drinking and relaxing.  "Relaxing" also applies to a certain Innocent Druid, currently in panther form, his feline body stretched out serenely as he cat-naps next to the table.

Along comes the Vile Mister Mish, who plops himself down on a chair next to the panther.  Noticing the resting kitty, the Vile Mister Mish exclaims, "Ahhh!   A footrest!"  And >ploompf!< go the Dwarf's feet on the panther's back.

The Innocent Druid Kitty, now fully awake, hisses and growls.

"Ahh, you're right!" exclaims the Vile Mister Mish.  "It would be more comfy with me boots off!"  And off the boots come.

The rest of this episode is far too revolting to put any more words to it.  At this point, your imagination alone will keep you vomiting for days.




Relaxing on a hilltop somewhere in Azeroth, the Innocent Druid and the Vile Mister Mish engage in male bonding...

Druid (melting dead away):  "...and then she kissed me!"

Mish:  "What?!"

Druid:  "It was nice!"

Mish:  "With 'er lips?"

Druid:   "Well, of course, 'with her lips' -- what other kind of 'kissing' is there?"

Mish:   "Ya let a human kiss ya?"

Druid (defensively):  "I like human ladies!"

Mish:  "What's to like about them?"

Druid:  "Well ... uh ... they got such cute, small ears!"

Mish:  "I have small ears too!"

Druid:  "You're not a lady!"

Mish:  "So can I kiss ya?"

Druid:  "What?!  NO!!"

Mish:  "Why not?"

Druid:  "I have to answer this?!"

Mish:  "Gah!  You're such a weenie."