It's a Kaldorei Thing

12 February 2011

2/12 12:29:55.718 [Guild] Razare: Why don't you go to Moonglade tonight then and prove Kathika and Livius wrong and become her best friend then? *smiles innocently*
2/12 12:30:17.859 [Guild] Livius: Yes, we'll drink Moonglow and admire long-eared women!
2/12 12:31:20.218 [Guild] Razare: You could be Livius' date! *grins happily*
2/12 12:31:35.890 [Guild] Livius: *rolls eyes*
2/12 12:31:50.703 [Guild] Razare: Hmmm long horns... not long ears.... will that be a problem Livius?
2/12 12:32:08.078 [Guild] Livius: I said "ears" for a reason.
2/12 12:32:18.953 [Guild] Wookiwhizz: Aww. Boss! It's the love festival! Not in any way a goblin engineered cynical marketing exercise. No.
2/12 12:32:23.015 [Guild] Razare: What is so nice about ears then?
2/12 12:32:30.250 [Guild] Livius: Well, Raz...
2/12 12:32:42.984 [Guild] Livius: ...it's....a Kaldorei thing. *nods*
2/12 12:32:58.234 [Guild] Razare: *rolls her eyes*
2/12 12:33:07.796 [Guild] Livius: I could TRY to explain it, but it would likely fry your brain.
2/12 12:33:18.937 [Guild] Razare: Try anyway....
2/12 12:33:28.468 [Guild] Wookiwhizz: They appear to be a primary erogenous zone for the Kal .... umm. Should I stop there?
2/12 12:33:32.328 [Guild] Razare: I don't value my brain so much *giggles*
2/12 12:33:41.328 [Guild] Livius: *just smiles enigmatically at Kath*
2/12 12:33:49.093 [Guild] Wookiwhizz: Yes.
2/12 12:33:58.515 [Guild] Wookiwhizz: Stopping now.
2/12 12:34:05.421 [Guild] Razare: So does that mean Livius likes having his ears stroked! *looks suddenly thoughtful*
2/12 12:34:15.390 [Guild] Wookiwhizz: Oh yes! Very much so!
2/12 12:34:29.156 [Guild] Razare: hmmmmm *gets a rogueish look to her face*
2/12 12:34:31.453 [Guild] Livius: Only Kaldorei can do it.
2/12 12:34:35.625 [Guild] Livius: So stand down.
2/12 12:34:39.484 [Guild] Razare: Why only kaldorei?
2/12 12:34:53.500 [Guild] Livius: *patient sigh and indulgent smile at Raz* Because it's a KALDOREI thing, Dear.
2/12 12:35:22.703 [Guild] Razare: so your ears somehow know whether a light touch is from an elf or a ... gnome?
2/12 12:35:22.890 [Guild] Wookiwhizz: It means that the boss does not date outside of his own genepool.
2/12 12:35:35.359 [Guild] Livius: *hums a merry Kaldorei tune while fishing*
2/12 12:35:51.734 [Guild] Wookiwhizz: See? Now we've gone and made him happy!
2/12 12:36:32.093 [Guild] Razare: Thinking about having his ears rubbed by some nubile elven wench *giggles*
2/12 12:36:57.437 [Guild] Wulfenbach: What happens if a non kaldorei strokes a kaldorei on the ears then?
2/12 12:36:58.062 [Guild] Livius: *blissfully hums while reeling in a Deepsea Sagefish*
2/12 12:37:02.046 [Guild] Wulfenbach: Do their heads explode?
2/12 12:37:25.781 [Guild] Wookiwhizz: I would imagine it is a matter of personal taste.
2/12 12:37:26.296 [Guild] Razare: Or is it just not... as pleasant......
2/12 12:37:32.781 [Guild] Livius: A whole lot of NOTHING, Wulf. Somebody please tell Wulf "it's a Kaldorei thing". I'm getting a little blue in the face from saying it so many times.
2/12 12:37:43.328 [Guild] Wookiwhizz: ... bluer.
2/12 12:39:04.187 [Guild] Razare: *tries not to giggle*
2/12 12:39:10.515 [Guild] Wookiwhizz: Franz? If Scruttok started coming onto you, started stroking your ears, nuzzling your neck and whispering sweet romantic nothings to you, how would you feel?
2/12 12:41:03.875 [Guild] Wulfenbach: I would bite him.
2/12 12:41:13.343 [Guild] Wulfenbach: Hard.
2/12 12:41:19.062 [Guild] Razare: Livius? What about if Tani stroked your ears.... she is very beautiful....
2/12 12:41:25.765 [Guild] Wookiwhizz: *nods* You would feel angry? disgusted? Violated?
2/12 12:41:34.234 [Guild] Livius: The answer begins with a "K", Raz.
2/12 12:41:55.234 [Guild] Razare: *giggles at livius*
2/12 12:42:04.687 [Guild] Wookiwhizz: K .... Knobbly?
2/12 12:42:53.484 [Guild] Razare: what about if she took one of those looka likey potions first? And looked like a Kaldorei lady?
2/12 12:43:13.718 [Guild] Tani: Please leave me out of this Raz
2/12 12:43:29.640 [Guild] Livius: Raz, how is it you are NOT GETTING THIS?!
2/12 12:43:45.250 [Guild] Livius: If someone LOOKS like a Kaldorei, it doesn't MAKE them a Kaldorei!
2/12 12:43:52.890 [Guild] Razare: I just don't see the attraction is all......
2/12 12:44:03.796 [Guild] Livius: Because you're not a ... what?
2/12 12:44:14.515 [Guild] Razare: *sigh* Kaldorei?
2/12 12:44:22.171 [Guild] Razare: But I like having my ears stroked.
2/12 12:44:22.875 [Guild] Livius: *claps for Raz*
2/12 12:44:23.437 [Guild] Ván: Knobbly?...<chuckles>
2/12 12:44:24.500 [Guild] Wookiwhizz: It is a spiritual union between like souls. Kaldorei souls. Not a mere physical groping.
2/12 12:44:44.625 [Guild] Razare: Do they get to do the physical groping as well?
2/12 12:46:51.000 [Guild] Razare: I mean, I am sure a spiritual union, is .... er... lovely and all... but it doesn't look like it is the fun bit though... does it? not really.....
2/12 12:47:39.984 [Guild] Livius: *heavy sigh*
2/12 12:47:47.718 [Guild] Livius: Raz...do you REALLY want me to explain that to you?
2/12 12:47:51.750 [Guild] Livius: I mean, honestly?
2/12 12:47:57.609 [Guild] Wookiwhizz: I did try. You're on your own now boss.
2/12 12:48:09.828 [Guild] Razare: No... you can keep your spiritual union bit.....
2/12 12:51:25.250 [Guild] Livius: No, Raz, I meant about your problem with reconciling Kaldorei spiritualism to Kaldorei sensualism.
2/12 12:51:47.312 [Guild] Razare: Well the two don't go together do they?
2/12 12:52:06.921 [Guild] Wookiwhizz: *listens interestedly*
2/12 12:52:29.578 [Guild] Livius: You think they don't, do you? You're that smart about my race, are you?
2/12 12:53:01.984 [Guild] Razare: No..... not really... but purity and being all prayerful and good does not seem to go very well with getting on down with your wild side *giggles*
2/12 12:53:22.906 [Guild] Livius: *smiles enigmatically, then chuckles*
2/12 12:53:28.734 [Guild] Livius: You truly have no clue about this, Raz.
2/12 12:53:58.234 [Guild] Razare: Well der! I spent all my life behind a wall! A big one! *giggles*
2/12 12:54:01.406 [Guild] Livius: Do you want me to TRY to explain it to you?
2/12 12:54:22.281 [Guild] Razare: Yes! as long as the explanation is not "it's a Kaldorei thing"
2/12 12:56:06.281 [Guild] Livius: OK, Raz, but remember -- you ASKED for this.
2/12 12:56:19.750 [Guild] Razare: Right..... *lies down at Livius' feet*
2/12 12:56:30.500 [Guild] Livius: Kaldorei spiritual union goes right into Kaldorei sensualism, Raz.
2/12 12:56:40.234 [Guild] Livius: Specifically, Kaldorei SEX, Raz.
2/12 12:56:48.921 [Guild] Razare: Really! you have lots of sex in those temples then? *gasps*
2/12 12:56:51.515 [Guild] Livius: Let me tell you about sex within my race.
2/12 12:56:58.296 [Guild] Livius: Kaldorei sex can KILL you, Raz.
2/12 12:57:04.781 [Guild] Razare: What? really?
2/12 12:57:06.765 [Guild] Wookiwhizz: *takes notes and nods happily to Minacara*
2/12 12:57:09.343 [Guild] Livius: Do you have any idea what we go through during sexual union?
2/12 12:57:14.359 [Guild] Razare: No......
2/12 12:57:26.140 [Guild] Livius: Our already shiny eyes brighten with the intensity of a pre-nova sun.
2/12 12:57:47.078 [Guild] Razare: Ooooh!
2/12 12:57:54.500 [Guild] Livius: Blood vessels constrict, body temperature rises, hearts race, blood pressure goes through the roof.
2/12 12:58:03.937 [Guild] Minacara: *shifts uncomfortably on her chair*
2/12 12:58:12.656 [Guild] Razare: I thought those things happened to most races?
2/12 12:58:15.625 [Guild] Livius: Breathing becomes rapid, shallow, labored. Hyperventilation is not uncommon.
2/12 12:58:20.218 [Guild] Livius: Shut up! You ASKED for this!
2/12 12:58:32.156 [Guild] Livius: Every gland in the body spits and secretes simultaneously.
2/12 12:58:33.281 [Guild] Razare: *grins then closes her mouth tightly*
2/12 12:58:48.781 [Guild] Wookiwhizz: *mumbles something about parallel physiological development*
2/12 12:58:52.000 [Guild] Livius: Muscles tense and spasm as if lifting three times the body's weight.
2/12 12:59:13.671 [Guild] Livius: The brain fires electrical impulses from everywhere to nowhere, generating enough juice to power a goblin city.
2/12 12:59:27.156 [Guild] Razare: *looks impressed at that thought*
2/12 12:59:32.281 [Guild] Livius: Kaldorei sex, Raz, is ugly -- messy -- VIOLENT....
2/12 12:59:50.546 [Guild] Livius: And if Elune hadn't made it so damned, bloody FUN, my people would have died out eons ago.
2/12 13:00:00.359 [Guild] Livius: Now, then, Raz....
2/12 13:00:05.328 [Guild] Livius: Do you have any OTHER questions?
2/12 13:00:29.109 [Guild] Razare: Welll.... seeing as you asked.....
2/12 13:00:35.296 [Guild] Wookiwhizz: Hmm, the power generating possiblities of Goldshire must be immense. Would electrodes and capacitors be too intrusive?
2/12 13:00:40.687 [Guild] Livius: Tough patootie, I'm done.
2/12 13:00:41.484 [Guild] Razare: is that much fun for humans... and er... worgen?
2/12 13:00:56.656 [Guild] Livius: Ask a human or a worgen. My lesson for today is ended.
2/12 13:01:06.531 [Guild] Razare: Oh..... *looks disappointed*
2/12 13:01:17.796 [Guild] Livius: And in fact, I must hasten to my druid meeting.
2/12 13:01:28.156 [Guild] Wookiwhizz: Toodles boss! Have fun!
2/12 13:01:30.250 [Guild] Livius: Good bye everyone. Be nice! I'll be back this evening.
2/12 13:01:31.015 [Guild] Razare: Have fun! but not too much! *giggles*